Back?

So, where have I beeeeeen???

Nah, you haven't been asking that XD
But yeah, I left for a bit. Hit a patch of depression ;_; It sucks knowing you're having panic attacks, but it sucks even more that you can't just stop it. Like, I know it's all in my head, yet I'm still having them. It's really frustrating, and it caused me to just lose interest in everything for a bit. But I've made a comeback ^^

What happened, let's see.
Well... um, nothing, really.

I got my twins, and I painted their faces ^^ I like them, but I want to love them! I'll try again when I have some available money, which won't be for a little while, because.... I'm buying another, lol. But this one is a man, a tall, gorgeous man, and I'm being smart about it. I'm part of a split ^^ I'll just be getting his head and body, and passing on the extras. Still a lot of money, but whatevs.

Been nearly obsessive about the kid lately. I don't know why, because he awkward laughs at everything I say, lol. Some might interpret that as being shy, but he's probably only shy because we never work together. Or he's just shy around girls in general. Okay, maybe I'm making excuses, but I've been burned a billion times, I've learned my lesson.... -_-;

Yesterday, a bunch of hats got 'pennied out' at work, so I got a ton of Nintendo brand hats! I usually just look at the beanies, but this time, I got the baseball caps too. I must say, I look quite good~! This was my work attire. I worked late, so during the day, I got really bored and decided to do my hair and put on makeup. The kid should have seen me! But of course he didn't. I swear, he only ever sees me when I'm looking at boring and unattractive as possible. It's like he plans it.

My bosses tell me it's weird that I call the kid "kid" even though he looks older than me, lol. But he's younger than me! That's all that matters, right?

My grandma told me she'll be staying here for 2 months. She's already incredibly annoying and wanting to know everything I do. It's creepy! She stares at me from the living room if I walk into the kitchen (no, I don't mean glances up, I mean, she actually stares at me until I leave), she asks me tons of pointless questions and questions with an obvious answer.... at least she'll be doing more things around the house. I work more than she does now, and I work 10 hour weeks! (yeah, sucks)

In random news, remember that clothing ensemble I posted a bit ago because I owned the blazer? Well, looks like I own a top similar to the one in the picture as well ^^ I just need a pleated skirt or short shorts and some dark tights (which I know I don't own, lol)

Well, I guess I'm off. Try to come back tomorrow ^_^

~Lots of Love~

Unicorn Twins!

Lol, what did I do yesterday? Sleep, eat, sleep. *sigh*

But also, I found out that the Soom Bygg and Beyla, the ones I just finished paying off Saturday, are on their way! Let me tell you, this wait should have been about one and a half months to two, but somehow, my wait was only 2 days!! I thought it might have been an accident, but sure enough, the tracking number said they were sent into Chicago today. WTF!! But I'm not upset at all! This is great~! Paying early has its benefits, seriously!

So, since my twins were coming, I had to go shopping for some snack supplies for their arrival! No, it's not for them! Well, kinda. See, I'm part of a ball joint doll forum, and in this particular thread, someone had mentioned how they were like Oreos (because the Bygg is gray, and the Beyla is white). Then someone posted a recipe for Oreo bonbons. There were a lot of issues during their time, with their website change, and weird payment issue. I made a promise that when I got my twins, I would make some Oreo bonbons and give them the caption "I survived the Soom website redesign!" So yeah, I'm making Oreo bonbons. I made some mint Oreo ones covered in white chocolate today, and will make some plain ones covered in milk chocolate soon. The mint ones came out delicious ^^ Even though I put too much chocolate on some of them, lol.

If you want to make them, here's the link. And check out her other recipes!

~Lots of Love~

Sleepyyyyy

I've been sleeping a lot.... So much stress.

Anyway, there was a victory recently! I put on makeup, and I looked great~ Though I didn't go anywhere, I stayed at home, lol. I messed up the liner on one of my eyes, and some of the eye primer got caked up because I didn't blend it properly, but otherwise I liked what I saw. But it was 3 in the morning, so I washed it off. Then I did my hair later that day.

I tried to follow this style:

(picture courtesy of vvshu.com, because I don't feel like scanning it in)
It came out pretty okay. Not OMGSUPERAMAZINGLAMOROUS or anything, but still cute. I wore this out. I still haven't learned how to use my hairspray, and I have no idea how they keep the volume! I even teased my hair, I swear, all the teasing just.... fell out! You know how you have to back-comb, and it comes out really tangled. Well.... mine wasn't tangled after a few hours! Anyway, my hair fell flat. And I can't for the life of me figure out how they get those rolls separated so perfectly. Mine always ends up in some sort of mass. Maybe I have too much hair?

Anyway, I went to look at scrapbooks, but none of them were very cute. I ended up getting a cute pink crocodile skin binder (of course it was fake). It didn't fit in the drawer, but I'm keeping it anyway, because it's cute. I relegated the second drawer to hair stuff.

Heading off. I'm not updating this like I'm supposed to. *sigh*

Lazy Day

I slept the whole time.... Between watching video game and movie reviews, I just drifted in and out of sleep. I'm up now, but my goodness.

Anyway, since I got my money back, and I realized my next paycheck will look pretty pathetic, I decided I would just pay off my Soom Bygg and Beyla twins. It's one less thing to be stressed about paying off, and it means my money is now my money. As long as my car doesn't explode or anything, I don't have to worry.


This is really all I have to say, lol. I might be going to Mitsuwa Thursday, once I find out when I'm working. I'm not having a good day today either, though my final surprise payment lifted my spirits a bit.

~Lots of Love~

Let Down

Today was pretty bad.

First, I find out that my order was randomly canceled because they couldn't "secure the order" -_-;

I got written up at work for coming in 10 minutes late. I guess I should have seen that coming, since I've been late like every day. I've just lost my desire to go to work....

So I ended up with a lot of extra Christmas money. To cheer myself up, I went on a shopping spree.... with video games, lol. I bought 2 more games for my NIS collection, a bag for my DS (it's really cute! Pink with a skull and crossbones wearing a bow~), Metroid Prime, and Dark Cloud 2. I think I'll go to the other store to find the last NIS DS game (a fun puzzle game), and the Disgaeas for the PS2 if they have cases for them. After all, who has a collection without the cases? I'm a true fan ^^ (even though I cheaped out on Mana Khemia and only got the basic and not the special edition). I haven't even played my PS2, especially because I actually just got another NIS game for the PS2 not that long ago. Buuuuuut, they're part of my collection, and the type of games that are hard to find after a few years, since only a few are released at a time. Hey, I was pretty lucky to find a La Pucelle Tactics in good condition with a book! And I actually got all of the Atelier Iris' new~! Unless it's Disgaea, it's hard to find at a store, at least around here.

Talking about my collection helps, especially because I like the games. I know they're typical, and not many people really like these games because they're grinders, but I love NIS games, ever since I found out that Phantom Brave was distributed by the same company as Rhapsody for the PS1 (a game I used to play a lot when I was younger).

Anyway, now that I have extra money again, I think I'll just buy some things from Schaumburg, or maybe get a dress from Qutieland, though that's $100 on its own. (at least I can rely on it not being canceled!)


It's a month away, but Valentine's Day is already waiting. This year, will I get a Valentine? You know, I've never had one. Even in high school, when I would buy my friends gifts (we were all hopelessly single) I wouldn't get anything. Well, once, someone gave me a chocolate. I was an afterthought though, lol, and he gave me chocolate from his collection from other girls who had given him candy (I don't think he ever knew that I knew). There's only one person I want to be my Valentine though, lol. If you don't know who he is, then you haven't been reading my blogs. ^___^ I don't think he'll ever ask though, and I can't ask. Well, I could, but after years of rejection, I'd rather kind of sit on the sidelines dreaming than taking another chance. It's just easier, and better for my stress levels this way ;_; Ugh, pathetic, I'm going to end up settling for some guy I can't stand, all because no one else will look at me, aren't I?


Enough of that angst.
But it's just so easy, when you've had a bad day!

~Lots of Love~

Eye Lashes

I've been slacking....

Today is the 16th! They said they would be shipping my stuff yesterday from Rakuten, but I haven't gotten anything about it. I hope it went through. I don't think any of the things I ordered are out of stock, so I could just reorder, but it would be really great to know if my things are going out! My money hasn't even left my account. I want my cute stuff!

Yesterday, I found out that I'm not liable for my medical bills. I'm pretty happy, because they would have been a lot, even if I had to pay a percentage of it. It's one stressful thing out of my life, at the very least. I'm covered for a whole year with them. I decided to do some spending as a result (though I totally shouldn't have, lol). I got some mascara, Lash Stiletto, which I heard was really good. My eyelashes are already pretty long, I hope they don't make them abnormally so! I was going to get some eyeshadow, but then I realized I could just go to Icing and buy one of their makeup packs. The eye primer I got is known for making even the least pigmented eyeshadow look brilliant, so I don't really worry about what kind of eyeshadow I'm getting (just as long as it doesn't irritate my skin, but I don't have sensitive skin, so I don't think I have to worry at all).

I also got a really cute plastic 3 drawer shelf on sale for $7. I'm going to put my fashion magazines in there ^^ I want to make it kind of my beauty drawer, with the bottom drawer full of my magazines. I'm going to start scanning in my favorite fashion ensembles and makeup ideas, and printing them (I think I'll get a cute little scrapbook, but if I can't find anything in the right size, I'll just get a 3 ring binder). The top drawer.... Hm, I don't know. Maybe I can put my brushes in there? I don't want to keep them all squashed up in the portable holder. I can put my hair accessories in there too. You know, I eventually will need some shelves for my books, as I collect them (and I already have a small collection now, 3 Ageha books, and 3 hair books, my bottom drawer is full, so I already need a new shelf, lol) I have to be honest, I already like my shelf, and I only just put my books and brushes in it. I'm a little excited about looking for a nice scrapbook. Do they come in 10x13 sizes? I'm sure they do, I'll just look ^^

~Lots of Love~

Hoooot!

I saw an owl today! Off in the distance, I saw a large bird land on a tree across the street. At first, I was wondering what kind of bird would still be around here while it's cold and dark, but then it turned it head, and I could see the little points! Then it hooted XDDD I wish I had had my camera. I've never seen an owl in the wild before. We get hawks, seagulls, and crows, but this is the first owl I've experienced around here. It's so ginormous and cool!!

Anyway, long day at work, because I was feeling anemic. My stomach just felt queasy, like I hadn't eaten anything, but I had! I don't really know what to do. I tried to take iron pills, but it only lessens the feeling month to month (whereas I used to just be completely useless during an episode, now, I only feel a little weak). What do I do to get rid of it?? I guess this is my sign to eat better. More iron rich foods like spinach. But my grandma only likes to make salads with it. I need something different, and separate from her (because she'll cook it until it's completely soggy and has no nutrients.)

My socks came in today! Really fast too, I ordered on Saturday! Everything fits and looks extra cute~ I got a pair of socks that are actually discontinued (they were such a cute pink, I had to get them while they were on sale!) My color theme was pink and white, because I wanted them to go with my leopard print dress from Rakuten. I should have probably gotten something black, but I think I'll get some stockings around here instead of online (unless I come across something very cute online) Everything fits and feels extra comfortable. I can't wait until I get my stuff. I want to wear them right away!

Lol, I already need new clothes XD

I found a gift card I got last year from Old Navy, with $21 on it. I'm going to wait until spring, and buy some short shorts. Hey, do they sell short shorts? It's been so long since I went there and bought anything, I can't actually remember ^^; Oh, and if they have it, a nice shirt to go with my blazer ensemble. It's an autumn ensemble, but I'd like to prepare it now. Speaking of blazers, I found another coordination using that same blazer, in the same color in an older Ageha issue. Who knew? I hope I become fashionable enough to be able to see these things. I used to get so many things and be so bored with them because I only had one boring idea for them. Now I see them in a new light. Like my cardigan, I used to only wear it with a long shirt and some pants. Now I see I can wear my red skirt under it, and a nice top. Too cold to wear it now, but I have something for when it warms up ^^ Seriously, this all probably seems boring and basic on the outside, but for someone who's never done any of this, it's really fun and exciting. The novelty will wear off once I'm immersed, but for now, I'm enjoying things. I think I should have majored in fashion, lol.

I've got a package to drop off tomorrow!

~Lots of Love~

Spending Money

Yesterday, I went to Sephora ^^ I was originally only going to get that Urban Decay Shadow Primer Potion, buuuuuut, I ended up spending $120 ^^;;; Well, it wasn't like I couldn't stop myself, I knew right then and there that I was going to get something else. At first, all I saw were the other brands, sitting at $40+ for just blushes. I ended up at the Sephora section, glad that the prices were a lot more reasonable. Let's see, I got a face brush, because I get so much dead skin a day! I got of course the primer (hope it's as super amazing as everyone is saying), some sort of hydrating and smoothing foundation (hopefully better than the M.A.C one I got forever ago that used to dry my skin out), a concealer stick (felt pretty good on my hand, so I hope it's awesome on my face, lol), lipstick in Quartz Show (pretty neutral pink), a loose powder (because I like the matte finish instead of the kind of liquidy finish that's in right now), eye shadow in Black Flame, some lip gloss, and they gave me some Clinique mascara for free, since my total was over $100. I would have gotten a couple more lipsticks and another eye shadow color, but I was worried about going too over budget. I can always go back some other time. I got a card from them so that every $100 I spend, I get something for free. Since I'm starting my make up collection, I assume I'll be hitting another $100 soon. Better start looking at more jobs!

Let's see, after Sephora, I went to Target. I didn't get much, I bought some Trident Xtra Care gum for me and the store (my coworkers really like that gum, and it keeps up from randomly snacking and helps after a meal), some makeup sponges, and some chocolates. I also bought a small tooth comb. I guess it really does make all the difference.

Suddenly, I would do almost anything to find the song "Bounce" by Koda Kumi. Not the concert version, but the actual version. I want it! But I have no idea what CD it's on. I wonder if it's under a different name?

I think I'm going to take a bath using one of my packets of bath salts that I got from Mitsuwa. I have to look up what the difference is, lol.

~Lots of Love~

Arts and Crafts

You know, I'm actually a very artistic person. I haven't been doing much lately, but I like to draw and make things. I don't know why, but it always surprises me when I realize I can combine art with really anything I'm getting into. Like just a few moments ago, I suddenly started thinking about brush holders and vanities for my make up. I was looking up what to do, and I found a great and incredibly simple tutorial, where someone just got a box, filled it with that vase fill stuff (those little glass beads) and stuck his brushes in. I was like "Duh, why didn't I think of that??" As I kept looking, I saw what other people had done with that idea. Pretty vases, colorful sand, little decals and things stuck on the vase.... Sometimes, I can be so silly. I have a cute little makeup box, but it's rather small, and really only good for taking things on the go (I might even eventually use it as a purse, because it's really cute ^_^). I'm thinking about things like this, because even though I'm still at the beginner stage with barely anything, I plan on adding bit by bit (in fact, I'm going out today to go to Sephora and look for the 2 pallets I wanted when I went shopping before). I'm into anything and everything cute. I accidentally came across a Victorian style website where they have hand mirrors and trays and perfume bottles and whatnot. Pretty high end, but if I bought one thing every month, I could have a lot of pretty trinkets for a pretty vanity. This year, I'm teaching myself to back away from the big picture and take things step by step. As you know, I tend to get really overwhelmed and give up on things, when I look at it as a whole.

Oh yeah, but anyway, I already know I want my future room to exude cute. I'm picking out mini chandeliers and I actually have a folder full of room ideas and a section with links to all these places. I even started looking at some interior design books, from where else, Japan. Places here seem to only have cute designs for little girls, and once you reach a certain age, you want to be classic or edgy. But I want to be cute! Not really stuffed animals lining the walls cute, but still girly cute, with a modern flair. I want to paint my future room lilac (I hope I can find a place where I can paint my room) with a pink, purple, and white color theme. I want a big and fluffy bed (I need all the cushioning I can get anyway) with satin pillows, and one of those hanging things over the bed, you know, with the lace that comes down, so you can get the canopy bed without the canopy. I want a cute vanity! One in white with pink and purple flowers. And a big closet to fill, because now I'm going to fill it! My room will be so anti-male, but I don't care. I think the rest of the place will be cool, but my room is my room. Lace, frills, and satin abound.

But I guess I have to take it one step at a time. First I have to get a good paying job. Then I can get an apartment and start thinking about all this furniture stuff.

I'm starting to think I might have to leave the state in order to get a good job. I wouldn't mind it at all, but I don't know. This is all very frustrating. I'm trying my hardest to believe in my mom when she says I can find a job, but when it's been so long with so much work.... It's easy to get discouraged.... I have so many dreams of getting to travel around and enjoy the world. It would take me about a year in order to even go across the country for more than a day, with the ability to stay somewhere not infested with bugs and rodents, and get food that's not on someone's dollar menu. You know, I'd like to enjoy myself....


~Lots of Love~

Break time

Our hours have been reduced by a ton, so anyone not a key holder has been getting 10 hours. Except for Dan. Lol, he finally got our boss Galen to just take him off the schedule.

Anyway, now that the holiday rush is over, we can rent games again. I got Super Princess Peach. So far it's like an easier version of Mario, but with more complex elements. You don't just get from point A to point B, you have to do things in order to do it! Like become happy and float to the top of something, or become angry and burn a bridge to get to the lower level. I had a hard time fighting the boss, because I would attack instead of jump, or jump instead of picking up something.... I guess I'll get used to it.

My arms feel better, but my wrist still hurts, like a bruise.


You know, the more I think about it, the more I really want to color my hair. I wish I worked at a fashion designer's office. It would be okay, right? Well, if it was one of those cutting-edge type places, not one of those upscale, million dollar places. I know what I mean, lol. I guess I better learn how to do fun things with my hair before I get into that territory. I'm just pretty excited. I see myself in a year, doing most of what I've always wanted to do. I see myself at the forefront of fashion, doing my hair in styles I never thought I could do. I want to make that happen. I'm not at the point where I see myself at an amazing new job or in a cool new apartment, but I see a better future than before, where I figured I'd still be my typical self, hiding in the background and unable to take care of myself.


Short entry, because all the things I wanted to say, I forgot, lol.

~Lots of Love~

Anxious

Haha, so where did yesterday's blog go? I swear, it was an unavoidable circumstance.

See...
I was kind of in the emergency room ^^;;;
I woke up, unable to breathe, and my throat felt like it was closing up. I rushed over, and ended up being there all night until today. The worst part of it was when the woman was trying to draw blood from my wrist. I don't know what she was thinking, maybe something along the lines of that she's never met a girl like me, underweight and anemic. Well, she jabbed my wrist 3 times, and yelled at me for moving. Um, hello, you're sticking a needle into bone! Eventually, she got another guy in, he felt my wrist, then felt my arm, told her to do it there. He turned to me when it was done. "You're anemic, aren't you?" I nodded. He had to actually explain to the woman that that's why she couldn't really feel a pulse on my wrist. Now she knows. When you come across an anemic, the rules are different! XD

Besides all of that drama, I'm doing alright. They diagnosed me with anxiety, and I immediately knew the cause was because of money. It's really the only thing I stress about. Not having enough money, how I'm going to pay for things, needing more for whatever reason, plus wanting to move out of my house and away from my grandma (which requires money). Speaking of grandma, when I got home, she lectured me on everything from why I should love living here with her, to why I shouldn't take pills and should instead rely on praying and herbs. THIS IS WHY I WANT TO MOVE OUT! I don't care that my life is easier, I don't care that I don't have bills to pay, or that everything is provided to me. Maybe she lived with her family even in her marriage days (yes, she did), but *I* don't want that! I want to be on my own, I want to deal with those issues! I don't need my life to be easy anymore! And as she went on about how I should love being this way, I responded with this: "I'm not you. I was never you. So this is what I want." I want to be successful. You can't do that bumming off of relatives.

I remember once forever ago her talking about how she likes living alone, but I don't really think she does. I, on the other hand, love to be alone. It would be great to have my own place to control. No, it won't be easy. But all of my life has been easy. I'm tired of everything being handed to me. It's time I pull my own weight around here.


Anyway, I'm feeling much better now (glad I wasn't allergic to anything, or was asthmatic or anything) besides all of the pin holes everywhere. I'm glad I'm not physically sick, and now, I can actually say that my job literally has driven me crazy.


In other news, I'm going to work for the first time in what feels like forever. I feel so out of the loop. With all of these issues, I wonder if I'll grow to hate my job even more. It looks more and more dismal, when I think about all of the places I've applied to, and how no one has really gotten back to me. My mom tries to tell me I just have to believe I'll get a job, but, it never looks good.

Ugh, see, this is why I'm always stressed out. T_T
I told someone that I think this year will be one of those years where everything starts out crappy, and then everything afterward seems awesome in comparison. I'll believe that ^^


I want to wash my hair and take a shower, but my arms hurt so much! *sob*

~Lots of Love~

How to Up the Make

Did I ever mention that I got my brushes in forever ago? Well I did, and so far, I'm impressed (though this may not be saying much, as I've never really had any brushes before, besides a kabuki I bought from Target for that brief time I was wearing mineral makeup, and that one wasn't too amazing). But that's not what this entry is about.

See, I wanted the plum set from Coastal Scents, not because of the color, but because I knew what every brush in the set did. It was perfect for me.... But they sold out the day I went to buy some. The only good set they had with all the brushes I knew I wanted in the first place was this deluxe set. Cute, but I only knew what like 6 of them did. Still, I needed a set of makeup brushes, if I was ever going to learn how to do my own makeup, so I ordered it. I'm glad I did!

The day after I made the purchase, I realized I needed to know what these brushes did, otherwise I'd be wasting a lot of money not using like half of my brushes. I hate wasting money. It's always a big letdown when I realize I could have spent my cash on other things. So I did some research. I came across a few basic pages that pretty much generalized everything, like "these kinds of brush is for this application." Okay, nice, but it of course wasn't quite good enough. What does each individual brush do? Why is it that this one does this while this one does this? I am waaaaaaay at the beginning, not even sure how to even out skin tone and use concealer, I needed a place that would educate me.

http://www.beauty-and-makeup-tips.com/index.html

I found it ^_^
This place is awesome for a beginner. I found this site through the brushes section, which explained not only what each brush did, but which ones were for everyday use, and which ones were used only for special techniques, which ones where must haves, and which ones I might never need. I ended up moving from there to basic application pages. I really like that it's so descriptive, not just "put it on here, now put this on here, done!" I'm not so savvy with all the terms, so I never know what's what. Of course, after that I moved to eyeshadow, since I like to bring those out more than my lips (which are plump and naturally dark pink, so they stand out anyway). They even had diagrams of where each section of the eye is. I always wondered what they exactly meant by applying things on the lid, since I never knew where the 'lid' ended, or was supposed to end.

So on this note, I just washed my brushes. My big blush brushes were really pigmented! They turned my water all black o_o Most of them are made from natural hair that's been brushed from the animals (so they didn't kill the animal for them). I used my shampoo and conditioner, since they're made for about the same kind of hair XD Hooray for me having long, dry hair! My brushes already feel softer, and they're still in the conditioning stage. I'll condition them again in a bit, then rinse them off and let them dry, and they'll be ready for use ^_^ I have some extra money, suddenly, so I'll be able to buy some makeup to compliment said brushes very soon XD I think I'll work on the basics first: foundation, concealer, and eye primer, a pink to white eye shadow pallet, a neutral color pallet, maybe a blush, maybe. Oh, and some Quench lotion! I remember someone had it in their car forever ago, so I used it. It was wonderful! And it had a slight shimmer to it <3 Or maybe I can finally get a curling iron! I'll go look at some nice small barrel ones.


Well, I finished the second conditioning, and rinsed them off, now they're drying for a day. I'm working at 4 on Thursday, so I've got lots of free time. Means no money in my paycheck, but I'm supposed to get a huge payment from someone else as well (hopefully they keep their promise). Tomorrow will be my weekly hair washing, so I think I'm overdue for some olive oil treatment ^_^

Random Edit:
Look at what I just found in last December's Egg!

I know you're thinking "What is this?" or maybe even "Why is this?" Well! My mom bought me a blazer just like that but in blue! I was a little excited, because I was wondering what I could do with this blazer at first (my mom tried to tell me to wear it over my sweater. Ew, really? unnecessary bulk is never cute!) but now that I've seen this, I've got an idea! I need a pleated skirt, a top like the one under it, a super cute choker, I can already see my own version, fleshing out! I'm starting to like Egg more and more. I might not be into the makeup choice, but I like their fashions lots ^_^ I'll look for them next time I'm at Mitsuwa. I'm halfway through my stamps. I wonder if we have double stamp days out here.

~Lots of Love~

Frustration

Yesterday morning, I got really sick. Well, not typical sick, like a cold or the flu. It felt like I couldn't get enough air, and I kept getting sharp pains in my chest. The pressure against my ribs made me feel like my chest would explode if I fell on them too hard.... It was pretty scary, so I came to my grandma. All she could do was scold me for not having a real job with good pay so I could afford medical care and that I should just take some herbs and pray. Right then, I realized I just can't count on her anymore. I was really scared, and all she could do was lecture me?? At one point, she even tried to convince me I just had a cold (without ANY cold symptoms like coughing, mucus, not even a sore throat or a headache). And she's always so quick to believe I'm overreacting, so I'm never allowed to show emotion to her anyway. She wonders why I never come to her for anything....

I remember a little over a year ago, I was constantly tired. Even so much as walking a few steps some days would cause me to have to sit down and take a break. I remember her just scolding me for staying up all night (which at the time I was only doing so because I would sleep about 18 hours a day) and not eating enough fruit. Turned out I had anemia and my blood count was at 8 when it should have been at 13. I didn't want to tell her, but my mom made me. Even now, I just want her to leave me alone from now on. If all I'm going to get out of her is "You're not doing good enough, now take a bunch of herbs and you'll be better because of faith!" Um, we don't even know what's wrong with me, and I'm taking a bunch of random herbs? I can't rely on her to help me anymore. I told her to just leave it to me from now on, but of course, now she wants to check on me all the time. Just leave me alone, you've already made a terrible impression and I'm never coming to you again if I can help it!


On a good note, after making a comment on another blog, someone pointed out that her order was coming on the 15th.... so is mine! I saw it, but at the time, I thought they meant my preordered item was coming then. My pretty clothes will be here soon~~! I'm going to wear my shoes right away! I sure hope they fit XD I'm a size 8.5, so in Japan, I'm a size 24.5. I just make the limit. I'm hoping they know how to make 8.5s o_o

Debating on whether I should buy some stockings and socks from Sock Dreams or not.... I want some pink fishnets and some thigh highs.

Rihoooooooo!!!!

Work today!

Anyway, I just finished a bath, using the Lush bath products. Waaah, so pretty~! I did the Mermaid Water recipe, and it was a gorgeous ocean blue with swirls of gold shimmering all over! I read my Ageha magazine while I enjoyed a nice scented soak. And what did I see? Riho Nishiyama had her own pages! 3 whole pages, in fact, back and forth <333 I was so happy, it's about time! She had a section where she looked so glamorous~! I hope she never disappears. I like Satomi too, but I'm a bonafide Riho fangirl XD

I was excited, so I had to tell everyone. I know, it's lame, but it's Riho!

~Lots of Love~

The Aftermath

Relaxing again ^_^

Yesterday, I 'ambushed' Tara by taking her to Lush. She didn't mind much, but when I told her about the 'mermaid water' she could make in her bath, she was all excited XD We shared that, and decided that if she really liked it, we could come back and get more things (she saw one with what looked like a rose in it that she thought was cute). I did get a small bottle of Tea Tree Water Toner. I didn't see the tablets though. I'll have to remember to ask next time I'm there!

When I went to Mitsuwa though, all of my plans just fell through XD I bought the eyeliner I wanted, some bath salts from a brand I heard was really good, and some $5 eyelashes. They had these $17 ones that were in a style I really liked, but it's a good thing I didn't get them. Today I just read my Betty magazine, and it got the lowest scores of all the eyelashes.... Of course, the ones I got aren't even on the list XD Still. Oh yeah, I went to the bookstore, I got January's Ageha, and Vol. 3 of Betty. I now know the name of one of the girls who has appeared in so many of my hair magazines! Her name is Chiva Hamasaki! Unfortunately, she's not one of my favorite models, I just kept seeing her in so many places, and she has a very unique face. I also recognize the model Mayu Fukuchi. But it doesn't seem like too many people know them around here, at least on the Internet.

Anyway, I went to look for the face mask, but they didn't have any! I knew I should have bought it when I saw it last time! -_-; They also didn't have the eyeshadow I was looking for. They had some lipstick that I had seen in Ageha as one of their top 3 choices. But it was like $15 ;_; I ended up just getting a ton of snacks and some Yogu (tried their orange flavor, I'm adding it to the 'delicious' list XD) Tara bought some black daifuku.... We didn't know what made it black until we read the directions. It had charcoal in it! XDDD Though I think it was more the black sesame seeds that made it black. It wasn't terrible, but I wouldn't eat it. Tara, on the other hand, absolutely hated it. Then we went to Ichiro's. Tara loved it~~<333! I should have taken a picture of our sushi! We got the Sakura and had octopus for the first time. We weren't sure what the octopus was, until we realized it was the stuff they put at the top. Delicious! Tara already wanted to come back X3

Afterwards, we went to Tara's place and had a Bust A Groove 2 competition. I won! I figured out how to reverse an attack, and got her twice XD After that, we never attacked each other (I know she knows how to dodge) then we handed them off to her friend Brianna(-Banana) and her boyfriend Jason. After they played a few rounds, Tara had to show them the secret character Pander. I missed their reaction though, since I had to go out and get the pop!

Everyone pretty much got drunk, except for me since I was going home (lots of people were already staying over, and her apartment is very small) It was a lot of fun, Iron Man played in the background, and then we had the countdown at a random time XD Then we played Apples to Apples. I came in second! <3 Everyone left, and everything started to wind down. Tara started to get really sleepy, so I went home. I had lots of fun, and it was a great way to close the year ^___^ Goodbye 2009, and welcome, 2010!

I've got lots of treats to munch on, and an Ageha magazine to finish~!

~Lots of Love~