Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Today, I want to learn Spencerian script.

*adds yet another thing to her list of things she wants to do*

Seriously, every other day, it's something new, something else that I want to learn to do.... My list is so long, when will I ever complete it?

I haven't used cursive in many years, outside of signing my name. In fact, the reason I stopped was because it was so illegible. The letters got muddled together, at least to me, so I just started writing regularly. I guess now is as good a time as ever to relearn, and relearn from the best, right? I've always wanted to have awesome script writing, with flourishes and curls and whatnot, elegant handwriting that makes you want to write the most elegant letter, sealed with wax, and pressed with an elegant stamp of some random elegant letter from the alphabet. Elegantly. And I'd use all sorts of elegant phrases, perhaps Victorian style ones. Because it's elegant. Lol (adds to her list)

What else is on that list? Well, one I'm already working on, and that's my sewing class, so I can learn how to make my own clothes. Another, is to open a small website selling some clothes. Oh, what am I doing, this calls for an actual listing of my... list.

- Learn to sew my own clothes.
- Learn to sew clothes for my dolls.
- Learn to make shoes for my dolls (because I can't for the life of me find the shoes I want for them).
- Get a decent paying job.
- Get a job with normal hours, because I don't want to be called in at random hours of the day anymore.
- Online shop, a real one, not an Etsy one (nothing against Etsy, of course, but I'm all about full customization).
- Get a nice, small house in the suburbs, because I like the suburbs best.
- Dream room, dream room, dream room! If I do nothing else, I'd want this one.
- Also, really great crafting room.
- Work on my "face-ups" (The term for blushing dolls).
- Learn how to cook, or rather learn how to want to cook. (requires eating at a steady time, however).
- Adhere to a schedule (working on this one bit by bit now).
- Learn how to make really delicious looking bentos.
- Learn lots of nice dessert recipes (I love sweets~)
- Learn how to make fancy nails.
- Learn to write Spencerian script *new*
- Learn to write using elegant words, lol *new*

I want to have more picnics, and write letters using a fancy quill pen. I want to use masks for my skin, and cook great meals for my friends. I want to have gatherings, just for mundane things like painting, spa days, or even just because I bought a new cookbook. I really really want this, and this isn't a fad. I've been this way all of my life, I just never knew there was a name for it, or that it wasn't as rare as I thought. Thank you, Internet, for making it so easy to discover the kind of person I am XD Who says I have to choose one or the other? I'll wear a tiara in my bubblegum pink and cotton candy blue hair, while I use innuendo during a round of Super Smash Bros. That's why being a girl is the best <3

But I have to remember not to try to learn how to do all of these things at once. It's so overwhelming if I think if it as a ton of things I want to do, but if I think about it as one or two things at a time, it's not so hard. Piece by piece is the key, and it's not like I've only got 1 month to do it all!

Anyway, going to sleep at 10p isn't going so well. I keep getting sidetracked by things, and telling myself "Oh, just 10 more minutes...." Suddenly, it's midnight, lol. But I have been waking up at around 7a-8a though. Now I'm adding the "breakfast" part of my schedule, since I'm pretty consistent on when I wake up, and I don't fall asleep during the day (even though sometimes I get really tired, but I never fall asleep). Tea in the morning is one of my favorite things to do. I only wish I had a steady income, so that I could make a proper breakfast like I want. Right now I'm eating some red pepper hummus and some multi-grain crackers, lol. I guess it's alright, I just wish I was eating something like a fresh scone topped with apricot jam, or some cheese topped tuna on an English muffin instead. Something on cute bone china!

And speaking of food, lately, I'm into cookbooks. I've been looking at a lot of recipes. It started when I was re-looking at a recipe for strawberry, mint, and pepper macarons, that looked and sounded so delicious. I went to look for more odd macaron combinations. Today, I suddenly started looking on books for breakfasts (found a nice one ^_^) and realized the author was the same author of another book I wanted to get, but forgot about, on confectioneries. Found that as well, and it all snowballed. It got me looking at tea books and ideas for fancy picnics.... Gah! Why couldn't I have been into this years ago?? I'd be so ahead of the curve by now! But, I guess that's neither here, nor there.... Still, it's so sad all of the money I wasted on candy that's long gone, that could have gone to these books, so I could make my own candy, lol.

The closer I get to figuring out who I am exactly, the happier I get. A couple days ago, I got to give advice to my best friend, who's going through the exact same thing I was last year. I told her that it starts with a spark, maybe one person saying "Just go for it" or maybe really liking something and wanting more of it in your life, and how little pieces add up to form a definite plan. Tomorrow, we might be talking about it, because I said we should help each other out on accomplishing our goals (it's easier if you have a friend to kick your butt into gear when you're not really feeling it!). I get frustrated a lot, because it looks like I'm not making any progress, but really I am. Well, at least mentally. I've come pretty far from the person who didn't even know what she wanted to do, and was having panic attacks because she thought she would have to be miserable and live with her grandma forever, I think. Back then, I didn't know what I wanted. I knew what I liked to do, but none of them were things I could do for money or anything, or things that I wanted to turn into a chore. Now I'm narrowing down on a path, and even seriously considering certain things. It's great to know I've actually got somewhere that I can go. ^^

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Languages, Colors, Sleep.

Forgot about my schedule again, and went to sleep 15 minutes before midnight -_-; Funny thing is that I knew when it was 9p, and I knew when it was 9:30p, but completely didn't pay attention as 10p rolled around. I'll keep trying!

A few days ago, I read in my transits (I swear, I'm not obsessed....) that it was a good time to learn a language and that there would probably not be a better time. Well, last night, I up and decided, I was going to learn Korean. And it was all thanks to 2pm member Kim Junsu (Not to be confused with the one from DSBK)! Well, alright, it wasn't because of him, I basically was trying to find out who the light brown haired guy was in the music video for Again & Again, which with the way my mind works, I went from looking for him to looking up programs that teach languages. While still complicated, as most languages are, it's a ton easier than Japanese is.... At least in my opinion. Still, it's not very easy, because I'm learning it on my own. I wonder why I chose Korean? It's not a bad choice, I just wonder why I like it so much. I bet it's because of all these cute boy bands, lol.

This morning, I took a color hue test. Last time I took it was almost 2 years ago, which if I remember, I got a 12 (the lower the score, the better you are at discerning colors) and they were all pretty much in the green-blue area, which I seem to have most trouble discriminating between.

Well, today, I got....

Whoo! I only missed 3 this time! Still in the green-blue area, but I did great! This is definitely going on my refrigerator XD

Had a couple dreams last night (I woke up once at around 4a). The first one involved me going inside some ancient temple in a video game, where a tyrannosaurus rex was chasing me in a corridor. I got hit, but it allowed me to get behind it, and attack. But I underestimated where it would next show up, and I got hit again. I fell down into this room, where a giant centipede showed up. I somehow knocked it over, and I had to hit the switch under it, but I had the wrong item equipped, so I missed it before it flipped back up. Suddenly, the room filled with water, and a whale started attacking. For some reason, some other large fish showed up, and the whale ate it, refilling its health. I had to use a trident with these energy orbs inside it to fight. Lots of fighting there....

The next one involved me escaping some factory, when suddenly I went through a door. I ended up in a dorm room, with 4 beds. There were 3 other girls, and I was apologizing for being such a poor roommate, to which 2 of them started complaining, and one of them said it was okay. I suddenly had classes, but I couldn't find my schedule. I was already 30 minutes late, and I decided to just skip it, although someone started telling me I would get in trouble for ditching. I told them that it was just college and that I would be alright, and I went to the store. I don't remember going in, but I remember leaving, and seeing some guy trying to push a bunch of grocery carts. Between him and the carts, trying to help push, was Jesse, a guy I used to know in real life from my year spent in college, someone I did not like, but even with the two of them, they couldn't do it. I kept calling the other guy, Michael was his name it seemed, but he couldn't hear me, so I got behind him and helped him push. It started to move, albeit slowly, and we pushed it out of the way of the street. Michael then noticed me behind him, and told me that he was embarrassed when he was using these tickets to buy the food, so he spent $10,000 on food using his actual money, money he didn't really have. I chastised him, and went to his house to help him sell his extras. I have such odd dreams.

So, ever since I started looking at movie review, I've started noticing how movies aren't nearly as exciting as I thought they were, lol. Ended up watching one of the sequels to The Matrix (no clue which, but probably the last, I caught it in the middle) and was watching their hand to hand near the end. They were so.... lackluster. An earlier me would be all sucked in! I notice things I never would have noticed long before, so it's so weird.

Just a random thought I realized, is all.

Seriously, why can't all guys look like Jun.K? He is now my new standard, although I don't think very many people will be able to compare, especially in this town. BUT, all the more reason to focus on myself instead, right? Lol, logic wins again.

Saturday, September 18, 2010


Yesterday, I decided to adhere to my schedule, at least the sleeping part. Well, I tried.... I was already late by 15 minutes because I missed the time. Then I proceeded to get sidetracked by an episode of How I Met Your Mother that I hadn't seen before. Ended up watching the next one, because I hadn't seen that one either. So it was 11p, I turned off my TV, and started to turn off my computer, but one of my favorite reviewers put up another video, so of course, I watched it. It wasn't until 11:30p that I finally turned off the computer and went to sleep! But it's better than how I normally do it.

It's for the best, because I fell asleep at 4p that day, and woke up at 8p. I'll try to stay up until 10p, so I'll be tired. I really want to follow this schedule, because even if none of my other goals are accomplished, as wonderful as they are, I'd like to at least accomplish this one, since it's easy and already thought out. But anyway, because I slept so early, I'm awake now.... Lol, I went to sleep 4 hours early, and woke up 4 hours early too!

Yesterday morning (I woke up early then too), I got bored and started drawing out the layout of my dream room, because I'm eccentric like that. I ended up branching out and drawing the whole second floor, and what started as me having the master bedroom turned into me having the second biggest room, lol. I guess it doesn't matter, as long as I have enough space for everything I want in there. I wanted to go full-on interior design, find my colored pencils and bristol board, and start designing. I really do have this room all planned out, and as I was sketching the layout, everything came easy for me. In fact, I only made a few alterations, where I realized something wouldn't work where it was placed. Then I moved on to planning the craft room out. I've got that mostly down too, but I'm trying to figure out where to put the TV (there won't be one in my room, so I want one in there) and a bigger display case for my future dolls. I'm having a lot of fun, so I must be pretty dull, lol.

The weather has been chilly as of late. It's a little sad, because it felt like summer ended kind of abruptly, almost like the very second it hit September 1st. It was really hot, just a little while ago! I already can't wait for spring, lol.

I was randomly looking at those daylight light bulbs this morning, because I was wondering if I could get them in my room. Someone made a comment about how it helps people with SAD (seasonal affective disorder, I believe, which must be a coincidence name-wise). For a moment, I wondered if I was crabby because I suffered from that condition. Then I remembered I'm like this because of the situation I'm in, knowing I can never be myself and that I will never be completely accepted as long as I'm in this house.... I wish my condition could be cured with a light bulb.... Then again, it's because of all the narrow-mindedness that I'm the liberal type I am. I almost grew up to be just like them (12 years back, I remember being taught certain things, and it almost ruined a friendship with a person who was experimenting with witchcraft, something I was taught to be evil and wrong. I can't believe I was once that bigoted person) Should I think of it that way? Maybe this situation is a blessing in disguise. A really annoying blessing that makes me feel more misunderstood and alone than ever, heh. But at least I don't follow Fox News.

I have the urge to play some Ar Tonelico, one of the two, since I haven't finished either, lol.
Also, I have a penchant for finding the one person in a group no one ever cheers for attractive, while the one everyone likes, I'm always like 'meh'. What's up with that? Listening to 2PM's Again & Again to its namesake ^_^ Get it?

Friday, September 17, 2010

These days

Today, I randomly decided to look for some Korean radio stations to listen to. I'm really thankful for the Internet, because of things like this. It's so nice to have a taste (taste?) for a certain kind of music, and you can go online and find it in a second. I remember how sad I was when our cable company dropped the AZN channel, which was how I discovered one of my favorite artists Se7en. Bad thing, I get too wrapped up in the songs, I'm afraid to leave and miss a song I like! They're all too catchy and all the love songs make me smile ^^ I wish we had more love songs like these, and less of this bad music we've been getting lately.

Yesterday, our class was chosen for a special on a news program, on the rising popularity of sewing classes. Since I was the newest and youngest in the class (only by 6 years though, I'm not *that* young anymore!), they really wanted an interview with me. I thought that I would be nervous, but when it came time, I wasn't. Of course, now I worry I'm going to see myself and see that they filmed me with a huge booger in my nose, lol! Oh, I hope not! I wore a nice shirt and straightened my hair that day! I looked kind of decent, for once.

Been planning a lot lately, for no reason. Writing out schedules, layouts, bookmarking tons of furniture. Lately, things are starting to feel more definite, like I'm seeing a future that's starting to unfold.... Wait, does that even make any sense? I don't know, just lately, it suddenly feels like I'm going to meet someone who's going to make all of my dreams come true, and in a couple years' time, everything I've ever wished for, or really close to it, will be there. But I couldn't tell you what's giving me this feeling. It just feels really strong. Is it because I've been planning it? Sometimes I have to remind myself that anything can happen and that even though I want something a lot, doesn't mean I may ever get it, or even come close. It's not a fun thing to think about, but I can't allow myself to get carried away, or I'll be really disappointed once I realize things aren't going my way, and I'll go back to my old ways of drifting through life....

Feeling so restless these days. How frustrating.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Shape the Future

Hehe, JSR reverence ^_^

I just randomly decided to check out the magazine My Best Hair, the September edition (I think there was another one during the summer, so I had to specify) on Vvshu.com.

Their hair is so cute and natural~ it makes me want bangs really badly. You don't know how close I've come to cutting my own bangs. I've cut my own hair before, and it came out alright.... But you can't really hide bad bangs, lol. I've tried looking for tutorials or tips, and came up with really nothing, besides a lot of people cutting someone else's hair, not their own, or when they say "Cut your own bangs!" they really mean "Trim bangs that you already have!" I'm also trying to see how I might look with bangs. I can't tell! Ah well, I chickened out when I tried to cut my bangs, and decided to round out the edges of my hair around my face again, to give them a bit of shape. They look rather nice, so much better than the first time I did it some years ago. I guess I'm getting better at it.

But anyway, a few scans of my favorites, courtesy of Tokyo Jam

Also, if you can find it, check out the summer edition as well. They have such cute hairstyles <333

Recently, I've been getting into horoscopes, Western, and Chinese. For those who know the lingo, I'm a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, Aquarius Ascendant, and I was born in the year of the Wood Ox.

It's always a lot of fun, looking at my birth charts and seeing how completely similar I am to them ^_^ And it's not even like those blanket terms, like "You enjoy eating foods you like!" But really good descriptions, like my methods for making people laugh, the fact that I believe everything teaches you something, even something small like how I'm a bit clumsy. It's really interesting to look at. On my Wood Ox side, it says that I'm a very liberal type, and I come off as indecisive even though I'm really just taking a long time to make a decision. But once I've made my choice, I will rarely change it (my Ascendant in Aquarius says the same thing, so I guess I'm double it?)

It's all very true~ It's just so much fun to look at these things <3 If you're a bit curious if your signs match your personality:
Birth Chart
Chinese Zodiac

Sunday, September 5, 2010

"No wig, no life".... I think I understand

Took my second class for sewing Thursday. It's such a laid back class, with only 6 people, including me and the teacher. I'm still learning how to draft a skirt (I couldn't find the triangle he wanted, so I had to finish my assignment in class), but we started marking lines on my fabric, so I guess I'll be making it next class. I still can't say whether I like the class or not. I mean, I like the atmosphere, and I like that I can take my time (I'm a really methodical person, so I like to take things step by step until I'm confident in what I'm doing) but I haven't made anything. I've got 10 classes left though, hopefully I'll learn plenty of things ^_^

But because of this class, my wishlist for making things has grown a lot ^^; I keep seeing outfits, or drawing ideas for my characters, even though I'm trying to pace myself. It doesn't help that I've started plotting out my dream crafting room, which I tend to drift to when I start looking at furniture for my future amazing bedroom, lol.

I don't get why I love planning things out so much, considering my room is a total mess.... but I guess this is partly due to the fact that I have no dressers or cabinets or anything in my room. In fact, I don't even like the color of the walls in my room. I think if I had the room I loved, I would try extra hard to keep it looking nice. Right now, there's no rhyme or reason in my room. It doesn't really feel like home, and it certainly doesn't make me want to clean it up. I think if I had my dream room, it would always be neat.

The other day, I was reading some articles, and I came across an article about a woman who wrote 100 things she wanted in her perfect mate, and that she ended up meeting a man that fit 98 of those things, and the 2 things he wasn't . I'm going to do it, but instead of for a guy, it'll be over my future. 100 things I want for a happy future. I may change my mind, I may not get even close to what I want, but it can't hurt, right? It's mostly over my dream house (a nice two floor, 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom townhouse in the northwest suburbs, preferably somewhere in Schaumburg close to Mitsuwa and Meijer, with a small backyard area, and nice, quiet neighbors, and even more specific things I won't get into, lol) but there's a lot of other things, like getting to see my friends more, and even gaining more great friends to share my hobbies with, and a good paying basic job that allows me to pay for the things I need without struggle. And, of course, my major dream, of one day starting an online store to sell my Hime-kei dresses and accessories for people and ball joint dolls. Apparently, if the 'spirits' agree with it, it'll happen. So, um, spirits, do your best? Haha~

Yesterday, I downloaded a magazine from Tokyo-Jam over at LiveJournal which seems to be Prisila's wig book. They give you lots of different hairstyles using their wigs and hair bits. My goodness, is this all it takes? Most of the styles take less than 10 minutes, and many of them are even just 5 minutes! Here I was, convinced by Ageha that I would have to be hair straightener savvy just to get anything cute, and all you really have to do is put your hair in a bun, and let the wig do it's work? Now I definitely want a walk in closet. Originally, my hope was to put a vanity on one side, and then a bunch of clothes on the other. But a whole wall full of wigs and hair pieces sounds like a much better idea! It certainly makes more sense to do it this way. If you want to check out this book (but try to buy it if you can too!), go here, and look for a book called Hair Arrangement Stylebook (It's the first one on the second row, as of typing this). If you've ever wondered how these people get these amazing styles, it's not all naturally thick hair and hundreds of dollars for the best hairdresser in town, it's wigs!

Here are a few of my favorites. I can't wait to try them out someday~

And I like this one the most~

No wonder those girls over there love these things. They make it so fun and easy.... I've got to get some money, so I can see if they have this book over at Mitsuwa.

*sigh* I miss Mitsuwa. I could go for some strawberry daifuku and Kasugai gummies right about now.