Since I don't have much happening in my life as of late, and also, maybe this will occupy enough of my mind so I can ignore the cramps I'm currently having until the aspirin kicks in (a necessary evil, if we didn't have them, us women would become far too powerful and definitely take over the world, lol!), I'll do one myself.
I'm huge into horoscope personalities!
I can't get enough of them. I love seeing how true they are. I can't rely on them only, but I think they're so much fun to read and analyze! If it weren't creepy, I would ask everyone for their information, so I could learn their sun, moon, and rising signs.
I am a Christian!
Red Letter Christian to be specific. In other words, we follow Jesus' words (the red letters in some bibles) and treat the rest of the bible as more of a guide, not the end all to be all rule book. It is, after all, very outdated, and a lot of those rules implemented were because of the times they were living in, which are drastically different to now. Besides, I find it hard to believe that a book written and translated by humans couldn't at one point be biased or have biased information. We are, well, human after all.
I'm a perfectionist!
That's why I'm taking everything so seriously, lol. If I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it right, and this is especially true if it's something I like to do. If it's not right in my eyes... it's a failure, haha.... It's a mixed blessing, but I guess if I learn to do something perfect, then it'll just be that much easier to achieve it. It sure is frustrating to deal with though. I am my own biggest rival. I'm constantly trying to meet and beat my dreams for life.
I have a mascot!
In 2000, I created a girl named Toby, named after a character from some book I read forever ago (though her name was Tobey, I believe). She was a fox girl who had a magical pencil, and created this whole world full of strange characters, and one very normal character (named Sketch, lol) who had no idea how to deal with everything I put him through. I used to draw the comic with my friend Tara, but when I moved away, Toby started transforming. Eventually, her name became Aimiya. Her only connection between all of the different styles she's gone through is that she is still a fox girl, lol. Currently, she's a Hime-Gyaru assassin, with a katana named Heart/Breaker, two heart barreled revolvers named Cupid and Sweetheart, and a rocket launcher named Saint Valentine. She also has an alternate persona called Princess Murderbot.
|My lovely mascot Aimiya.|
She is never available for RPs.
Lol, boy was I an awkward teen! I was scrawny, had hair I didn't know what to do with, I wasn't allowed to shave until I was 16, and I owned a lot of huge clothing because my mom was convinced any moment now that I would fill out and grown into them. I didn't.... Three guys total ever admitted to liking me in high school, and four if we go all the way back to even fifth grade, and only one of them actually knew me! If you've ever been in school, or are in school, and saw that one person who was often alone in class, never speaking to anyone, never really doing much of anything but writing or drawing in her notebook, that was me! I had friends, but they were never in my class, or if they were, it was just for one period or something. Actually, add intimidating to that, because you don't know how many times I heard the word 'scary' when it came to describing me. Imagine a 90-something pound girl being intimidating! By college though, I finally found my niche and it became a little easier to fit in, but my goodness, if high school really was supposed to be the best years of my life.... Oh man, what a depressing life I would be living now....
I like to plan!
Sometimes, more than I like to do the actual thing I'm planning for! There's just something so satisfying about looking at a chart of structure.... I guess it's because a lot of my life is random now. I eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired, even when I used to work, it was at the most awkward of times. I'm tired of the spontaneity. Even if I look boring, I need the structure. It's really difficult to follow one though, what with the 24 years of not doing it before.... I guess over-planning can be bad, but, well, I've got a lot of catching up to do anyway.
I hate being told I have to do something....
Maybe that's why I can't follow the schedules I've set.... I like to cook. I don't mind cleaning. But just something about someone telling me I have to do it... suddenly I hate it, lol. It makes me feel trapped, and my motivation for doing it is completely sapped from me. I like doing things my own way!
I love being alone!
As an only child of a single parent, I had to be on my own a lot. I wasn't able to have after-school activities, because my mom was working all day. My friends usually lived very far away, so I learned to love being by myself. I don't mind being with my friends, but if I had to be with them all the time, I'd eventually get annoyed, lol. I need the time alone, in a place where no one else is allowed to be.
I hate bitter foods!
All of them. I hate olives, I hate licorice, I hate coffee, I even dislike dark chocolate. I think the coffee really throws people off. Every time I say I hate it, I have to get a huge lecture on what to do to properly have coffee, like where to get it, how many packets of sugar to dump in it, syrups, whatever.... It never matters! It always tastes like disgusting coffee! Leave me to my tea, please!
...But I love sweet and spicy foods!
Here's an addendum to this fact, I didn't like spicy foods until I got cheated on by my first boyfriend, lol. I really don't know what happened, just, when I stopped being upset... I suddenly really had a craving for spicy foods. As for sweets, I was raised on sugar by my mom, who loves sugar so much, she puts it in almost everything. I can't even eat tomato based pastas or chili without adding sugar, because without it, they taste so bland! For a while, I really craved sweet foods, but suddenly, that went down too. I still like sweets, but not nearly like I did before. Something sweet AND spicy, now that's perfect!
I'm not very good at talking....
Chalk it up to only having one planet in an Air sign in my birth chart (Air signs govern communication), or my extreme shyness as a child, the biggest reason I have for not liking to be around lots of people I don't know is simply because I'm not good at conversations. A conversation with someone I don't know usually goes one of two ways: I'll say barely anything, and basically use the shortest phrases I can to answer questions, or I'll say way too much just to explain something, and end up confusing me and probably them as well. The only time I'm good at talking is when it's work related (and it's funny, my Mercury, the planet of communication, is in my 10th house, the house of jobs).
I have Trypophobia....
Trypophobia- a fear of clusters of small holes, usually on the skin. We call it a fear, but technically, it's more of an aversion. Usually when someone is grossed out by something, they'll just say "Ew!" or maybe trigger a gag reflex. For us, when we see those tiny little holes all over the place.... it seriously revolts us with similar traits to fear. Currently, I'm trying to get over it, as occasionally, my dreams like to use this fear to tell me something important, and while that's great and all, once triggered, I can't stop seeing images in my head for months.... Most of the time it's just that I can't stop staring, and I get goosebumps until I feel like crying.... Sometimes the revulsion is so bad, I'll even have to turn my head immediately away. But I have to face it, otherwise I'll never get over it. But it's just soooo creepy.... I'm scared of large insects, but at least I can kill those! You can't kill an image.... Fortunately, it's only extreme things that get me. Most normal things don't even bother me.
I currently own 4 ball joint dolls!
They are all from a company named Soom: a Beyla named Hajnal (pronounced HAH-nal), a Bygg named Visita (pronounced Vee-SHEE-ta), an Amber named Lilith, and a Chalco named Asar'el. I hope to one day own lots more, but I've currently put them on the back burner while I head for this new lifestyle. And on that note....
I currently have dreams of making Gyaru shoe replicas.... for ball joint dolls!
Yet another thing I'll have to put aside, but I really want to one day make doll shoes based on popular Gyaru shoes. I want to do this, because for a long time, I couldn't find the right kind of shoes for Lilith. They were either to Lolita-ish for her, or too plain, and when I did find great shoes for her, they were from some other country that I couldn't order from, and now that I've determined her personality suits a hostess wardrobe, I really needed something special. I think only I can do it. I'll have to learn how to use resin and whatnot, but currently, I'm learning how real shoes are made, and I will try to apply that to making them in small scale. Someday, she'll have a whole selection of shoes from MA*RS and Jesus Diamante, lol.
I am a huge NIS America fan!
It started when I played the game Rhapsody. It was silly and easy, but I couldn't get enough of it. Some years later, I saw the game Phantom Brave. I had never heard of it, but I had just finished Final Fantasy Tactics Advanced, and it looked similar. After that, I was hooked on NIS games! I could list them, but it would take me a really long time, especially when you don't care whether I have them or not, lol. I will say that I own all NIS games for the DS, and I'm only missing one from the PS2. Should I get any other systems, I'll look for NIS games on those too! Oh, and my favorite game of the series is Phantom Brave, with the Mana Khemia series next, and the Atelier Iris series in a very close third. One day, I'd like to cosplay as Pamela~ She's my favorite!
Tea? Yes please!
I'm a huge tea fan. I don't know how people can dislike tea. There's so many different flavors, and has all kinds of wonderful health benefits as well! Even if you don't like the flavor of tea itself, herbal teas don't actually have tea leaves in them at all! But, ah well, I guess it's just more deliciousness for me~! My favorite type is white tea. I also like tea in other forms, like candy and chocolates. Actually, I could go for a matcha chocolate right now.... Mmmmm~~!
I want to princess-ify my whole life!
As I said before, I was kind of a tomboy when I was younger. As a kid, though I played with Barbies, I also happily played in the mud and climbed trees too. I grew up with lots of guys in my life, so I always wanted to act like them, so that they wouldn't leave me behind when they went to do something fun. When I grew up, I wanted to change all of that, but I didn't think I could. I thought I was just too boyish in personality and looks to ever pull off feminine. Now that I realize that there's a happy medium, I want to go all out! I'm going to give myself the royal treatment, after taking care of everyone for so long.
I can lose focus very quickly....
I started this blog entry sometime around noon.... Does that give you an idea? I don't mean to! But my mind is always jam-packed with things, suddenly I'm thinking about something else, and I end up pursuing the new thing. I'm not sure I'm great at multi-tasking.... I do come back to whatever I was doing originally, but it could take time, lol.
I only make best friends.
I don't like casual acquaintances, and I really hate the idea of being friends with someone just so they can do something for me. I'm really, really cautious when it comes to the people I talk to, but some people are just easy to be close to, and once you've got me as a friend, it'll take a lot to get me gone! Er, not literally speaking, if you need me to leave your house, I'll leave, lol. My friends are few and far in between, but at least I know I can count on them if I ever need them. I don't want to deal with someone who will flake out on me.
...I kind of wish I didn't, lol.
Not that I hate my friends! I just wish I was better at making a few more. Too many times I see a nice person I'd want to be friends with, but I freak out and end up ignoring them because I'm scared I'll get way too clingy and never leave them alone, and then they'll call me 'that annoying girl', lol! Besides, I told you I don't know how to converse. I hate small talk because it gets me nowhere, but I certainly can't dive in with "I collect dolls and want to dress like a princess!" because... well, that conjures up all kinds of crazy. I'm not really sure where to go after the initial 'Hello'.... Especially if that person happens to be an attractive guy. They're my kryptonite. I'm too aware of what I'm saying.... I'm already terrible at talking.... And even if I do end up hitting it off with someone, I'm always worried if I may have made a bad choice or not. I wouldn't want to be great friends with someone, and then find out they sacrifice puppies to Zeus on Wednesdays. Yeah, that's an extreme example, but.... Too many unknowns in the equation. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. People should stop being so... unpredictable, lol.
So, those are my 20. It wasn't very easy, because I don't think I'm very interesting, lol.
Other than that, not doing much. Those at the job I applied for said that they would call this week, but I'm getting the feeling I haven't been chosen, so I guess I'll just have to try for another job. It only makes me a little sad, because I tried really hard not to get my hopes up about it. I just really hope I won't have to settle for a place where I'll be miserable at. I don't care if it's still a paycheck, how can I give 100% to a job where I'm unhappy? I just don't want what happened last year to happen ever again.
Now to go to sleeeeep!