Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Today, I want to learn Spencerian script.

*adds yet another thing to her list of things she wants to do*

Seriously, every other day, it's something new, something else that I want to learn to do.... My list is so long, when will I ever complete it?

I haven't used cursive in many years, outside of signing my name. In fact, the reason I stopped was because it was so illegible. The letters got muddled together, at least to me, so I just started writing regularly. I guess now is as good a time as ever to relearn, and relearn from the best, right? I've always wanted to have awesome script writing, with flourishes and curls and whatnot, elegant handwriting that makes you want to write the most elegant letter, sealed with wax, and pressed with an elegant stamp of some random elegant letter from the alphabet. Elegantly. And I'd use all sorts of elegant phrases, perhaps Victorian style ones. Because it's elegant. Lol (adds to her list)

What else is on that list? Well, one I'm already working on, and that's my sewing class, so I can learn how to make my own clothes. Another, is to open a small website selling some clothes. Oh, what am I doing, this calls for an actual listing of my... list.

- Learn to sew my own clothes.
- Learn to sew clothes for my dolls.
- Learn to make shoes for my dolls (because I can't for the life of me find the shoes I want for them).
- Get a decent paying job.
- Get a job with normal hours, because I don't want to be called in at random hours of the day anymore.
- Online shop, a real one, not an Etsy one (nothing against Etsy, of course, but I'm all about full customization).
- Get a nice, small house in the suburbs, because I like the suburbs best.
- Dream room, dream room, dream room! If I do nothing else, I'd want this one.
- Also, really great crafting room.
- Work on my "face-ups" (The term for blushing dolls).
- Learn how to cook, or rather learn how to want to cook. (requires eating at a steady time, however).
- Adhere to a schedule (working on this one bit by bit now).
- Learn how to make really delicious looking bentos.
- Learn lots of nice dessert recipes (I love sweets~)
- Learn how to make fancy nails.
- Learn to write Spencerian script *new*
- Learn to write using elegant words, lol *new*

I want to have more picnics, and write letters using a fancy quill pen. I want to use masks for my skin, and cook great meals for my friends. I want to have gatherings, just for mundane things like painting, spa days, or even just because I bought a new cookbook. I really really want this, and this isn't a fad. I've been this way all of my life, I just never knew there was a name for it, or that it wasn't as rare as I thought. Thank you, Internet, for making it so easy to discover the kind of person I am XD Who says I have to choose one or the other? I'll wear a tiara in my bubblegum pink and cotton candy blue hair, while I use innuendo during a round of Super Smash Bros. That's why being a girl is the best <3

But I have to remember not to try to learn how to do all of these things at once. It's so overwhelming if I think if it as a ton of things I want to do, but if I think about it as one or two things at a time, it's not so hard. Piece by piece is the key, and it's not like I've only got 1 month to do it all!

Anyway, going to sleep at 10p isn't going so well. I keep getting sidetracked by things, and telling myself "Oh, just 10 more minutes...." Suddenly, it's midnight, lol. But I have been waking up at around 7a-8a though. Now I'm adding the "breakfast" part of my schedule, since I'm pretty consistent on when I wake up, and I don't fall asleep during the day (even though sometimes I get really tired, but I never fall asleep). Tea in the morning is one of my favorite things to do. I only wish I had a steady income, so that I could make a proper breakfast like I want. Right now I'm eating some red pepper hummus and some multi-grain crackers, lol. I guess it's alright, I just wish I was eating something like a fresh scone topped with apricot jam, or some cheese topped tuna on an English muffin instead. Something on cute bone china!

And speaking of food, lately, I'm into cookbooks. I've been looking at a lot of recipes. It started when I was re-looking at a recipe for strawberry, mint, and pepper macarons, that looked and sounded so delicious. I went to look for more odd macaron combinations. Today, I suddenly started looking on books for breakfasts (found a nice one ^_^) and realized the author was the same author of another book I wanted to get, but forgot about, on confectioneries. Found that as well, and it all snowballed. It got me looking at tea books and ideas for fancy picnics.... Gah! Why couldn't I have been into this years ago?? I'd be so ahead of the curve by now! But, I guess that's neither here, nor there.... Still, it's so sad all of the money I wasted on candy that's long gone, that could have gone to these books, so I could make my own candy, lol.

The closer I get to figuring out who I am exactly, the happier I get. A couple days ago, I got to give advice to my best friend, who's going through the exact same thing I was last year. I told her that it starts with a spark, maybe one person saying "Just go for it" or maybe really liking something and wanting more of it in your life, and how little pieces add up to form a definite plan. Tomorrow, we might be talking about it, because I said we should help each other out on accomplishing our goals (it's easier if you have a friend to kick your butt into gear when you're not really feeling it!). I get frustrated a lot, because it looks like I'm not making any progress, but really I am. Well, at least mentally. I've come pretty far from the person who didn't even know what she wanted to do, and was having panic attacks because she thought she would have to be miserable and live with her grandma forever, I think. Back then, I didn't know what I wanted. I knew what I liked to do, but none of them were things I could do for money or anything, or things that I wanted to turn into a chore. Now I'm narrowing down on a path, and even seriously considering certain things. It's great to know I've actually got somewhere that I can go. ^^

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