The more I learn about Hime-kei and everything around it, the more I really like it.
I remember when years ago, I used to look at this sort of thing, convinced that because I didn't feel I had the figure for it, that I couldn't pull it off, and therefore I didn't like it. I shied away from skirts and dresses, because I was ashamed of my 'bird legs'. I wore baggy clothes, because it hid my body. Used to tell myself and everyone (convincingly) that I wasn't girly at all, even though I secretly longed to wear something feminine.
I can't regret those moments, because they did make me who I am. I can sort of understand the logic behind what guys do, like playing video games for hours on end (something I used to do a lot in my teen years) or looking at a girl, even if they're with their girlfriend. But there's negatives there too. I could get along well with most guys, but they only ever saw me as "the friend". Actually, I don't think any guys ever really saw me as a female either.
You know, the first time I ever got asked out was from a guy in my Sophomore year in high school. He knew me for 3 days and told me he liked me. I turned him down, because I didn't know him well enough. He unfortunately took that the wrong way, and made fun of me after that.... I wouldn't be asked out again until the end of my Senior year, when 2 different Freshman boys would approach me. One never said a word, and sent his friend over to me to get my number. Another, whose friends would make fun of me, and he'd laugh with them, came by me and asked when I was going to be his girlfriend. Oh, and I guess there was a brief moment in my Junior year, when a friend of mine out of the blue asked what I would do if he came over and kissed me. This was the same guy who used to brag about how many girls he'd had sex with....
He would later ask me how I felt about a mutual friend. I had only known him for a few months, so I just told him I liked him as a friend, but I didn't know enough about him to think any further. He couldn't understand that at all....
I often wonder if things would have been very different if I knew about Hime-kei back then. Well, first, I'd need a ton of self-esteem, because I know for a fact, most people wouldn't accept it. But would I have known the same people I knew before? Maybe I would have gotten approached more? Or maybe less, because people would be worried I was high-maintenance? Not that it would have mattered. Looking back, I really only remember a few decent males around. Most of them were completely not my type, or at least pretended to be the types I hated. Of the few that were, they were usually taken, and for good reason.
Is there a such thing as a Lifestyle Hime? I've seen Violet, who also considers herself Hime, but seems to go for a more casual style than I like. Of course, there's probably a bunch of them in Japan.... (Then again, they love cute things over there, maybe that's all it is) Is it even called that? I'm wondering, because every time I read more about it or see another picture of a girl in a cute dress, I see myself, always incorporating the style into my everyday life. I don't want to just wear it, I want to be it. Well, that's not to say I want to walk around pretending to be a princess or anything. I just want to have that daintiness and refinement that goes with it.
I'm starting to be reassured, it's not a fad. It's almost been a year since I first came across this style, and I still really enjoy it. If after this long, I still take an interest in it, then it's definitely for me! ^_^
I just wish more people around me could be into this with me. How lonely -_-