Frustration

Yesterday morning, I got really sick. Well, not typical sick, like a cold or the flu. It felt like I couldn't get enough air, and I kept getting sharp pains in my chest. The pressure against my ribs made me feel like my chest would explode if I fell on them too hard.... It was pretty scary, so I came to my grandma. All she could do was scold me for not having a real job with good pay so I could afford medical care and that I should just take some herbs and pray. Right then, I realized I just can't count on her anymore. I was really scared, and all she could do was lecture me?? At one point, she even tried to convince me I just had a cold (without ANY cold symptoms like coughing, mucus, not even a sore throat or a headache). And she's always so quick to believe I'm overreacting, so I'm never allowed to show emotion to her anyway. She wonders why I never come to her for anything....

I remember a little over a year ago, I was constantly tired. Even so much as walking a few steps some days would cause me to have to sit down and take a break. I remember her just scolding me for staying up all night (which at the time I was only doing so because I would sleep about 18 hours a day) and not eating enough fruit. Turned out I had anemia and my blood count was at 8 when it should have been at 13. I didn't want to tell her, but my mom made me. Even now, I just want her to leave me alone from now on. If all I'm going to get out of her is "You're not doing good enough, now take a bunch of herbs and you'll be better because of faith!" Um, we don't even know what's wrong with me, and I'm taking a bunch of random herbs? I can't rely on her to help me anymore. I told her to just leave it to me from now on, but of course, now she wants to check on me all the time. Just leave me alone, you've already made a terrible impression and I'm never coming to you again if I can help it!


On a good note, after making a comment on another blog, someone pointed out that her order was coming on the 15th.... so is mine! I saw it, but at the time, I thought they meant my preordered item was coming then. My pretty clothes will be here soon~~! I'm going to wear my shoes right away! I sure hope they fit XD I'm a size 8.5, so in Japan, I'm a size 24.5. I just make the limit. I'm hoping they know how to make 8.5s o_o

Debating on whether I should buy some stockings and socks from Sock Dreams or not.... I want some pink fishnets and some thigh highs.