Having a Bad Day

You know, I like my blog.
Even if everyone just stopped reading today, I'd still like it.

I don't have anyone I can talk to about my problems.  Unlike me, my friends are usually all too busy with jobs, boyfriends, and general happenings, and unfortunately with the way I grew up, I'm too gun-shy to talk to my family, since when I would try to tell them my problems, I usually got met with "you're being over-dramatic" when they don't realize how much of my emotions I keep bottled up.  (not healthy, I know, but I used to get in a lot of trouble for getting angry, so I learned to keep it all in so I wouldn't get in trouble anymore.)

But here, I can talk about whatever ails me, whether it's a bad day, a bad experience, or even just PMSing, lol.  It's a good way to learn how to deal with things alone, because even if I do meet another "Jerry" to come and help me up when things get down, I may not have access to that person.  I don't want to be a burden and have to rely on others forever.

Of course, no one wants to read a bunch of posts about people being sad.  For a while, you might think, maybe I can cheer them up.  Eventually, you start to believe they're only doing it for attention, and that maybe if they just actively tried to make themselves happy, they would be.

So!
I don't want this to be a "Poor Tiffany, give her lots of lovessss!" post.  It'll just be... evidence.
Everyone has bad days, bad weeks, even bad months and years.  Some of us can shrug it off and power through.  Some of us add them to a huge pile of unhappy moments, and let it weigh us down.  I am a latter, slowly making my way to the former.  I find that writing my problems helps, because then I can think everything through completely, and nothing is kept inside.



Lately, this month has been getting me down.

It feels like everything is going wrong so far this month.  Small things from the usual of me not feeling appreciated, to large things, like being told my car is a horri-mess and that it'll cost a bunch of money I don't have to fix things.  I've only gotten two interviews, one never called back, the other told me they'd go with someone else, and I'm left at home wondering what I did wrong to not get the job.  My progress is going much to slow for my tastes, largely due to the fact that I can't afford to go any faster.  In fact, my progress seems to be at a stalemate, and even people younger than I are zooming right past me.  I'm stressed by my financial situation, but moreso by my living arrangement, because no matter how much I try to tell myself to just let her go, I can't help but be completely frustrated by her clueless-ness and careless words.  My skin has been going haywire suddenly.  If I scrub my face, I start to get bumps, but if I leave it alone, the skin flakes off so much.  Then suddenly, my neck started to hurt and I couldn't turn my head, and that was the last straw before I had to have a good cry.

I know some people like to say "There are people in worse situations than yourself, so you should be happy," but I don't think that's a great thing to say, imho.  It's the same as saying "Don't bother being happy, because there is always someone happier out there."  Even if our problems are minor, we're allowed to have a bad day or 14.

It's just when we let it get to us completely and we disregard all of the good things that are happening that it becomes a problem.  I had a boyfriend like that some years ago.  For every one moment he had that was 'teh best moment evarrr', he was having what seemed like 20 of the worst moments ever in history, no inbetween.  I used to have to prepare different lists of reasons why I loved him, and I'm not kidding, every other day, he needed to know exactly why I was with him, and if I didn't tell him enough, I clearly did not love him at all.  I remember once, we were on the phone laughing and joking, when he got yelled at by his mother for something (I believe it was something about him closing his window).  He then proceeded to go on for 10 minutes, talking about how the world is corrupt and that there's no hope for the good and that it's probably best not to even try.  You know what?  Right after that speech, he had the gall to ask me what was wrong when I couldn't say anything!  Looking back, it's a really funny story, but back then, it was so stressful!  I dreaded calling him after that, because I was sure that eventually something would upset him, and he would need me to prepare an essay on the fly based on what I liked about him, and to cite multiple examples and references while I was at it, lol.

Ahh...  It's okay to have a bad week.  It's even okay to have a bad month.  It's okay for things to get you down occasionally.

BUT!
You've got to remember that eventually things will get better, so just hold on to every slightly nice moment you encounter, and find a way to relieve your stress when you can.  I like posting on my blog.  Maybe you like making things, or going for a walk.  Or maybe you do have lots of people to talk to.  Whatever you do, do something.  Otherwise things will never change, and that bad week you're having will only drag on, long after the bad events have happened and right into the next bad thing.  Then you'll only lump it in with the original problem!

 I know things are hurting me now, but I'll have to make my way through it somehow eventually.  Until then, I think I'll sigh and stomp around for a bit, lol.  Then I'll figure out what to do with a clearer mind.

Anyway, if you read all of that, then thank you (yes, another thank you, lol).
I feel a little better now, and hopefully my neck will be a little better so I can run some errands.  In the meantime, I'm going to keep studying how to make doll shoes, so that when I finally have money to spare, I can finally make my girl a pair of these.  I hope one day I can embark on all of the hobbies I want to get into, but until I get a steady income, all I can do for now is plan and learn.  Do what I can!